Taking the Piss, Men’s Urinal’s Proper Etiquette!
Posted by: garryaw on 
Jun 20th, 2008 | 
Filed under: Man Stuff
Having to use pubic men’s urinals is something that all men have to face on a fairly regular basis. Whether it is at work, in the pub, at a restaurant, or at the cinema, we have to line up at the urinal to have a pee. The number of urinals facing us can vary depending on the establishment.
This article has been written for the benefit of those that are somehow not aware of the proper etiquette, which should be adhered to when using public urinals. It is common sense and fairly straightforward, but for some men out there, it seems to be a problem. It is one of those things that they should teach the kids at school, but you can just imagine the teachers getting the piss taken out of them, with this subject!
How to Use Public Urinals: Refer to picture above.
1. If upon arriving at the urinal and it is empty, you should use urinal number 1.
2. The next person to arrive would use number 4.
3. This is where it gets a little bit confusing for some people! next space to be filled up is number 3.
4. Most of you should be able to figure out the next one, the last space to be filled should be number 2.
5. The only exception to the rule is if the men using urinals numbers 1 and 3 are fat and they are taking up too much room making it impossible for number 2 to be used. You then have to wait, till someone finishes.
6. Another exception is with gays, they usually try and get as close to another person peeing as possible.
7. One last tip, after you have peed, do not shake so violently that you splash on to the guy next to you. I once seen the aftermath of this, and all I can say is the guy that did it, wont ever be doing it again!
8. I almost forget this one, always wash your hands after you have peed, it is common sense, everyone knows that, I know you all wash afterwards!
There we have it, it isn’t rocket science, it is basic manners and decorum, for those of you that prefer to use tree’s and public doorways I don’t suppose it really applies to you!
If anyone reading this article works within the immigration department of the Government, please pass this information onto all new citizens of the UK, it will help them to fit into society more seamlessly.
Be the first! 
Tags: