2 Million Dollar Bills

If it wasn’t for the fact that it would bore the hell out of everyone, I would have Noels Edmonds as my Celebrity Asshole of the week, every week. It amazes the hell out of me that he ever managed to get a job on British Television or how the heck he ever become a popular presenter. I know I shouldn’t have even bothered wasting my energy writing this because it makes me mad having to even think about Noel Edmonds, but I have started now!

If I ever happen to be watching Television, which is not very often and Noel Edmonds comes on, I will have the channel changed before you can say asshole. I was sitting in a nice and relaxing pub in Northolt in London last Sunday afternoon, when I looked over to the side and had the misfortune of seeing his ugly over confident face sprawled over one of those arcade type games, it was his latest successful show Deal or No Deal! Which he is seemingly paid £3 million a year by Channel 4 for presenting this show. I quickly changed my seat to where I couldn’t see his face, before he put me off my pint of ice cold lager.

I suppose the latest Noel Edmonds incarnation Deal Or No Deal is keeping the jobless and elderly happy with a show that is seemingly about luck and nothing else, I havent personally watched it, but have done research by asking the jobless and oldies of the world.

There is just something about Noel Edmonds which makes me cringe every time I see him, I hate his evil like smile, his ugly beard, and his terrible hairstyle that never seems to change, it may well be a wig. I hope and pray that one day in the near future that he is sent to prison for his crimes, which are for being who he is and being involved in dumb television programmers.

Even when I was a kid I remember Noel Edmonds making me throw up when I was a kid and I was made to watch  Multi-Coloured Swap Shop and when he would occasionally present Top of the Pops. I cant believe I can be so unlucky that I have have had to suffer Noel Edmonds as a kid and then have to suffer him as an adult.

He is seemingly only 59 years old, which means he could possible still be on UK television screens for at least another 10 years. All I can say to that is, I’m glad I don’t have to suffer UK television anymore, if he turns up on TV in Barbados I will know that I’m truly cursed and that he is a devil. It just shows you the sad state of affairs as far as TV in the UK is concerned, when somebody like Noel Edmonds can con the public and TV producers into allowing him to present shows for all those years.

The most annoying thing is that he had the opportunity to go to the University of Surrey, which he turned down in favour of a job as a presenter on radio Luxembourg in 1968, I was only just born and he was haunting me. Oh why didn’t he just go to University and then go and get a job in the London Dungeons!

Noel Edmonds most famous invention Mr Blobby made Britain a laughing stock of the world and brought us shame all around the world what a complete joke that was.The really sad thing is that Mr Blobby was better looking than Noel Edmonds!

There are people sleeping in cardboard boxes and in doorways that have more talent than Noel Edmonds, in fact the Joke that is Mr Blobby has more talent than him! When Noel Edmonds retired from Television a few years ago and he was off the air and out the public eye for about 5 years, I thought the curse had been lifted. But for some inexplicable reason their seems to be a restriction on allowing too many new young presenters onto UK television and they allowed him back on to our screens.

He may have more money than I will ever have, but at least I have a sense of style, I just wish someone would permanently wipe that smug look off his super confident face. I think you all get the picture that I really cant stand Noel Edmonds and I know that I’m not alone in feeling like that.

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Good old Terry Wogan the loveable Irish Radio and TV presenter, seemingly loved by millions of people in the UK. He has bored us; I meant to say entertained us for over 40 years. I can’t believe they still allow him on TV, after all these years; he is way past his sell by date.

What I really hate about him, his how he comes across as this nice and friendly face that does a lot of good work for charity! That is what really annoys me about him!

He is the only celebrity that has been paid for his participation in Children in Need; the BBC has paid him around £10 million pounds for his hard work since 1995. Terry Wogan justifies himself by saying, “I never asked for a fee”. But the greedy Irishman took the money anyway! It didn’t occur to him to give his fee to the very worthy cause he was helping to present. He decided in 2007 to stop taking payment for appearing on Children in Need. Wow Terry that was such a heart felt move you made, it only took you 16 years of taking the tainted money. I hope you had a good time spending it, nice cars, holidays, luxuries, etc. Don’t think about or worry about the children!

It truly amazes me how Terry Wogan managed to get away with it, if it was any other presenter, the British press would have crucified them and their career would have been over a long, long time ago. He should have been sent back home to Limerick to permanent retirement, where he belongs!

The bottom line is that greedy Terry Wogan only cares about fame, money and the need for having his old boring self in the public eye. I always remember in 1995 when Wogan broke the pickets lines, when BBC staff where protesting over job losses, he is a man without honour or principles. His excuse was that he was contracted to host, Wake up to Wogan, and as a result the BBC did not employ him. He always has a half arsed reason to justify his actions.

The persona that he portrays on TV and Radio is for me a fraud, he has somehow managed to fool the British public for over 40 years. I can’t believe that he still appears on TV and is making hundreds of thousands of pounds a year. Is there know new young exciting faces out there to take his place. People like him are one of the reasons that I stopped paying a TV license fee a long time ago.

I had to suffer watching the old boring fart a few weeks ago hosting the Eurovision Song Contest; he was a bigger joke than most of the acts. I will give Terry Wogan one last appearance on TV and that will be representing the UK in next years Eurovision Song Contest. He can reprise that utterly dreadful single he once had the audacity to release called the Floral Dance and dress him up like a cheap Euro transvestite hooker. It could be a winner; I could see it going down really well in Eastern Europe and Scandinavia.

The British publics love affair with the likes of Terry Wogan, truly amazes me, is Britain really such a talent less country.

 An article that I wrote about the recent Eurovision Song Contest, Eurovision Joke, Who Gives A Crap About Mickey Mouse Countries Voting For The UK !

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I couldn’t believe the headline I was reading on MSN, I thought it was a bad dream, it couldn’t be true. The headline read BB’s Jade Goody to play pantomime villain. She is seemingly going to play the wicked queen in a version of snow white and the seven dwarfs, at least she wont have to wear any makeup to make her look ugly, she has an abundance of talent as far as natural ugliness is concerned.

I find it amazing that Jade Goody is receiving offers of work, after her true character and outlook on life was exposed on Celebrity Big Brother 2007, when she exposed herself as being a racist, the subsequent stories that surfaced afterwards about her life before she was famous clearly proved that this incident wasn’t a one off.

For me it is smacks of being a cheap gimmick by the Theatre Royal, in Lincoln to gain publicity, for this years show. I may be mistaken but the main audience of a panto such as Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs is young children. Why is it then that a theatre is employing someone that is clearly an inbred racist to perform in front of children? I know what they are trying to do; they want to set a good example for the children that are watching in the audience, that it pays to be a racist in this day and age.

After Celebrity Big Brother 2007 you could clearly  see the crocodile tears falling from her eyes, once she realised that the gravy train could be over, you could smell the fear a mile off. It amazes me that someone as ugly, dumb and talentless as Jade Goody could make so much money out of those skills. For me she should be doing something that her talents deserve such as packing fish in a factory in Peterhead.

What I propose is that people make a stand against racists, and that means bombarding the Theatre Royal with complaints about Jade Goody performing in their second rate panto. If they do not listen to reason, people should totally boycott the show and make it the disaster that it deserves to be.

In fact I propose that people take it a step further and boycott every single show at a theatre, which  clearly says racism is ok, and are trying to gain publicity and sell tickets on the back of racist behaviour.

Theatre Royal, Lincoln can be contacted at the following telephone number 01522 523303 and via email at trl@dial.pipex.com. Make your voice heard!

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